108. From Mud to Guppies
From mud to guppies
Pollywogs
Green frogs
Brown plague rats
To bats
To cats with saber teeth
Mutate to monkey men
Out kin
To sin
To judges saying that right can be wrong.
Are we mud?
Are we mud?
Are we mud?
Are we mud?
Are we mud?
Are we all made of mud?
Darwin to Nietzshe
Übermensch
Auswitch
Sanger to
Roe-Wade
Doctor Kevorkian
Communist purges
Partial birth
Murders
To athiests saying that wrong is all right.
We're not mud!
We're not mud!
We're not mud!
We're not mud!
We're not mud!
We are not made of mud!
From God to Adam
Noah
Moses
David to
Mary
To the baptizer John
To Jesus the Christ
Mankind's
Sacrifice
God's word and spirit for all right and wrong.
God made us!
God made us!
God made us!
God made us!
God made us!
God made us!
God made us all!
God loves us!
God loves us!
God loves us!
God loves us!
Christ saves us!
Christ saves us!
Jesus is Lord!
Jesus is Lord!
107. Tristan Robert Marks
Tristan Robert Marks
Born with all his parts
And abundance of long dark hair.
He's more my grandson
Than most anyone
Of whom I am aware.
There's some claim they see
How he looks like me
But I think he looks more like him.
He's got four headlines
That's two less than mine
But I guess they'll grow in.
Hey Tristan
It's all right
Tristan
If you cry
Tristan
With all your might
Yo Tristan
It's your right.
There is a healing
Expressing your feelings.
I like it when he
Looks then smiles at me
And we connect down to our souls.
I can't say I do
Love him more than you
But I won't say that I don't.
Hey Tristan
When you smile
Yo Tristan
You got style
Hey Tristan
I think I'll
Tristan
Stay a while
And look at you
Smiling at me smiling at you
Tristan Robert Marks
Stealing all our hearts
I visit Tristan
Go home and I miss him.
This magical boy
Turns sadness to joy
Let the world behold
This most awesome zero year old.
Tristan Robert Marks
Handsome, strong and smart!
106. Break Forth in Oscillation
Break forth in oscillation
Temporal continuity
With integer harmonics
Trying to avoid beat frequencies
If you sample our song
Avoid all aliasing
Make sure you exceed Nyquist
Or high notes are lower than they should be.
Four hundred forty cycles per second
Is our A above middle C
The twelfth root of two is the ratio
Of adjacent and tempered frequencies
(Repeat first verse)
104. `Lil Isaac
Daddy Don't!
Daddy Don't!
Daddy Don't!
Daddy Don't!
Thank you Lord!
103. Lazy Bum
I’m a lazy bum., I'm a lazy bum
Got a lot of work, but I don't do none.
Just sit and strum in the morning sun.
Making up a song about a lazy bum.
I never quit working cause I never begin.
I never punch out cause I never punch in.
There ain't no job that's ever been
That I won't do, just tell me when.
My wife made me ask our doctor how come
I had a lot of work, but I don't do none.
The doctor ran tests, then told me "Son.
I've diagnosed you're a lazy bum." . (Repeat first verse twice.)
(Extra verses)
My wife asked me what I's doing today
I told her same as yesterday
She said I did nothing all day long
I told her I didn't quite get done.
When you think of Einstein you think brains
Think of Hitler, you think insane
When you think of Disney, you think of fun
Think of me, think lazy bum
101. Do We Darwin, Yes!
Come gather round you Darwin Scouts
And sing a song to drown your doubts
Embrace the cause of evolution
And join the growing revolution
Do We Darwin, Yes .
Scientists more smart than me
All say that overwhelmingly
All the evidence is there
For evolution everywhere.
Do We Darwin, Yes .
There's no intellectual escape
My great great grandpa is an ape.
I know that I am truly great
Because I've been evolved that way.
Do We Darwin, Yes .
Maybe there is a loving God
Or maybe it’s all a façade.
But Darwin taught, and I’ve resolved
We weren’t created. We evolved.
Do We Darwin, Yes .
There is no need for God in me.
I just believe the things I see.
Except I unconditionally
Accept the evolution tree.
Do We Darwin, Yes .
When I die, there'll be no hurt.
I'll just rot and turn to dirt.
My death means naught, no cares, no fuss.
Just everlasting nothingness.
Do We Darwin, Yes .
I know I am not the only
Scout who's feeling sad and lonely
I have the emptiness resolved
That's just the way that I evolved.
Do We Darwin, Yes .
So when I’m down, I sing with pride
To drown the emptiness inside.
So sing with me, Let it all out
And celebrate the Darwin Scouts.
Do We Darwin, Yes .
Do We Darwin, Yes .
99. Marilee's Melody
You are a song inside of me
Marilee Melodie
You are the rhyme and the harmony
Marilee Melodie
Rose apple cheeks on an sweet angle face
Gold curly hair falling down on little girl lace
You are a song inside of me
Marilee Melodie
You are a joy inside of me
Marilee Melodie
You are love in my memory
Marilee Melodie
Young effervescence of wonder with life
Manifestation of all that's good and right.
You are a joy inside of me
Marilee Melodie
You are a light inside of me
Marilee Melodie
Soft glowing love in warm memories
Marilee Melodie
Skipping and singing, celebrating life
Innocence radiance beaming strong and bright
You are a song inside of me
Marilee Melodie
98. Don't Eat that Stew!
with R.A. Marks & Chris Marks
Don't eat that stew
The beef in it's blue
The ham looks bad too
It has a green hue
Don't eat that cake
It's not fully baked
The filling is fake
The frosting won't flake
Don't eat red meat
It makes your teeth pink
And makes your hair kink
And makes your breath stink
Don't drink that tea
Its consistently
Is that of cold grease
It makes my skip creep
Don't listen to me
I lie through my teeth
And I never eat
Do what you please
Don't do be do
Don't ba dee do
Dee ba da doe
Bee da da boe
97. The Sonya Glossclossnovich Spontaneous Kazoo Band Incident
with R.A. Marks
Sonya sat alone
In her village home
Looking out her lonesome window
She knew what she must do
She got out her kazoo
And played this simple melody
People from miles around
Heard this lovely sound
Coming forth from Sonya's window
They all got their kazoos
While Sonya played the tune
The people sang the melody.
95. Boiled Asparagus
I could go outside and play
With my new turtle pet
But here I sit
Cause I ain't ate
My boiled asparagus
Mommy says until I eat it
Here I have to sit
Me and my plate
Will be up late
With boiled asparagus
It smells a lot
Like a dead rotting otter
If I wish hard
Maybe it will all go away.
I could go outside and play
With my new water jet
But here I sit
Cause I ain't ate
My boiled asparagus
Mom is so pleased.
I ate it like I ought to
She double checks
My pockets and on the floor
I'm outside and it feels weird
Squishing inside my pants
But that's the price
Of a life
Without asparagus.
94. Trophies
Sixty seven years have gone
My trophies lined upon the wall
I can't even count them all, Lord.
Some are for accomplishment
And some for fame and wars I've fought
And some for reasons I forget.
In my younger driven days
I fought for fortune, fame and praise
And battled all who stood in my way, Lord.
Now all the victories of the past
And trophies given for conquest
Have such a hollow loneliness
I strongly feel what I must do
Offer a sacrifice to you
Of all I've done and all I'll ever do, Lord.
I'm puzzled that you don't receive
My gift. Oh. But now I see
All you really want is me.
93. Jesus Christ is coming back again
Stomp your feet and holler
Bang the pots and pans
Glory Hallelujah!
Jesus Christ is coming back again.
Try to comprehend it
Try to understand
Maybe it's tomorrow
When Jesus Christ is coming back again.
Gather up the things that bug you
The sorrows, sins and bitter fights
Lay them at the feet of Jesus
Watch them wither in the light!
Yell it from your roof tops
Tell it to you friends
Joy that can't be spoken
Jesus Christ is coming back again.
Give Him all the things that own you
The worries and bad memories
Let Him hold you in his big arms
Feel His loving set you free!
Stomp your feet and holler
Bang the pots and pans
Sing a happy new song
Cause Jesus Christ is coming back again.
Jesus Christ is coming back again.
Jesus Christ is coming back again
91. Ugly Sally
Ugly Sally stared through the pouring rain
It was Saturday night and she's alone again
Homely Benny Peters was due at eight
For a date with Ugly Sally, but he's two hours late
Ugly Sally sat in her room
All alone and feeling blue
Then with a joyous clang
The doorbell rang
And there stood Handsome Bert
Sally grinned and bade him in
And asked what he wanted with her
Bert bowed his head
And softly said
Without her love that he'd be dead
And the only girl
In this large world
For him was her
Ugly Sally stared through the pouring rain
It was Saturday night and she's alone again
Homely Benny Peters was due at eight
For a date with Ugly Sally, but he's three hours late
Ugly Sally sat in her room
All alone and feeling blue
90. Joshua the Yazoo Kid
Who meets me daily at the doorway
To tell me things that day he did
It's either thirty pounds of jabber
Or Joshua, the Yazoo Kid
Who won't eat broccoli `less you tell him
They're legs of a green slimy squid
It's either pure imagination
Or Joshua, the Yazoo Kid
Who's running down the hallway
Like lightning that was greased
And hits you doing sixty
Below the knees
Who wants to stay up and watch TV
Who's much more tired than he'll admit
It's either perpetual motion
Or Joshua, the Yazoo Kid
Who's favorite food is bubblegum
Who likes to salt the slugs
Who curls up for a nap
With his favorite potato bug
Who puts his head upon your shoulder
So sleepy cause he overdid
He's thirty pounds of honest loving
He's Joshua, the Yazoo Kid
Joshua, the Yazoo Kid
87. DURANGO
He lived in fear of his life
Each deathly silent night
His back against the wall
He suspected them all
The gun from San Antone
Was the fastest man has known
And if his name you called
Better be prepared to draw
On DURANGO
My brother practiced hard
Behind our father's barn
I watched his lightening speed
Become the fastest that I'd seen
And on a golden morn in May
My brother rode away
To town to match his skill
To draw against and kill
DURANGO
In the saloon, he sat tall
His back against the wall
His piercing eyes starred
At all who entered there
Seeking the next man
To challenge his hand
Waiting for the day
Someone faster would replace
DURANGO
Into town my brother came
To claim Durango's fame
To match his lightening guns
Against a man who'd always won
Durango sat in fear
He sensed the time was near
In the saloon my brother came
And called out the name
DURANGO
Even to this day
The town people say
In the places that they've been
And the gunfights that they've seen
They have never seen two draws
As fast as those they saw
On that golden morn in May
When my lifeless brother lay
At the feet of DURANGO
The people didn't care
That the gun fight was fair
All the town folk said
They wished Durango dead
And swore it was a fact
That a bullet in the back
Would soon put an end
To the devil's closest friend
DURANGO
So late that moon lit night
In fear of his life
His guns still hanging low
Away Durango rode
Into the desert night
He rode to save his life
To find a safer home
For the gun from San Antone
DURANGO
Under a desert tree
I waited patiently
With my dead brother's gun
I waited for him to come
To fill full of lead
He who shot my brother dead
To wait `till he rode past
And shoot in the back
DURANGO
Soon I heard him come
And readied my brother's guns
As he was riding past
I took aim at his back
Durango sensed my thoughts
And turned as I shot.
My bullet pierced his chest
And I saw fall dead the best.
DURANGO
I took him dead to town
The people gathered round
They thought from what they saw
That I had beat the draw
Of DURANGO
Now in the saloon I sit tall
My back's against the wall
Knowing that the first man
Who challenges my hand
Will lay me in the grave
And inherit the fame
Of the man with better skill
Than the one that shot and killed
DURANGO
85. Together in the Lord
( ) = Bobby, [ ] = Together, Otherwise, Connie
Dearest Bobby,
(Lovely Connie)
Today we will be
(Mutually married)
[Together in the Lord]
[So glad to know]
[He loves us so.]
I'll be your Queen
(I'll be your King)
Our hearts will sing
(Through everything)
[Together in the Lord]
[So glad to know]
[He loves us so.]
[As years pass by]
[We'll grow alike]
[Living our lives to see]
[What we're to be.]
Tell me you do
(Lord, I love you)
I love you to
(That makes it two)
[Together in the Lord]
[So glad to know]
[He loves us so.]
[My heart will sing]
[As I wear your ring]
[Through everything, feeling fine]
[`Cause you are mine]
{Repeat first verse}
84. `Till Jeremiah (Moved in our Home)
I never woke at four AM
To little cries I must attend
I was never rockin' all night long
`Till Jeremiah moved in my home
I never acted like such a fool
Making' faces and saying `goo'
Nobody ever snuck and sucked on my comb
`Till Jeremiah moved in my home
He came to us six months ago
A gift from God, or so I'm told
I tried real hard, but couldn't see
How at all he looked like me
I never knew one so minute
Could drool so much on my best suit
Nobody ever screamed when I was on the phone
`Till Jeremiah moved in my home
Wigglin' gigglin' continuously
I never seen such energy
And I never wrote a baby song
`Till Jeremiah came along
No one would ever dare
To grab and pull my littlest hairs
I wouldn't believe it unless I was shown
`Till Jeremiah moved in my home
83. This Same Thing
This same thing happens every year
Our day comes along
And your not here.
I think about the way things were
And wonder how they'd be
Had you been cured.
I try to understand, but Lord, it isn't fair
To have the only one in this world that you cared for
Gone.
I close my eyes and feel the night
We learned that those few months
Remained in all you life.
I see the tears in your brave eyes
And feel the hurt when you said
Things would be all right.
Each moment was more precious than the one before
And though each day I prayed and pleaded with the Lord
You're gone.
This same thing happens every year.
Our day comes around
And you're not here.
82. Johnny Gumball
When I was just a boy
My Mother said `Park that gum!'
`Quit `yer blowin' bubbles'
`And do things that need done.'
But I stayed up one night
And figgered me up a plan.
I ran away from Mom
And became Gumball Man.
Yeah, go tell the world good news
Yeah, the gumball man's on the move.
I got an old used shovel
And a big bag of gum ball seeds
Traveled `cross the land
Plantin' everybody gumball trees.
Yeah, you people gather `round
Yeah, when the Gumball Man comes to town.
With a burlap bag of seeds
Wearin' rags and a six inch beard.
I'm making' lots of gumball trees grow
Far and near
Yeah, let the whole world know.
Yeah, look at them bubbles blow.
Yeah, rock back and wiggle your toes.
Yeah, look at them gumballs grow.
81. In My Mind
Sittin' thinkin' `bout my baby
Thinkin' what I'd like to do.
Gettin' down the picture she gave me
To look at when I'm blue
My mind materializes my baby
Totally in heart and soul
The picture that she gave me saves me
From bein' lonely no more.
In my mind
I'm feelin' fine.
I close my mind
And I find
She's at my side.
I'm feelin' fine
In my mind
33, 17,
29.
Sittin' thinkin' `bout my baby
Knowin' there ain't nothin' new.
Fanticizin' lovin' my baby
Like we used to do.
Wish I had my pretty baby
To love me head to toe.
Wish she didn't die in eighty nine
And left me all alone
Totally in body in soul.
She made my sad heart whole.
80. The Clean Room Song
In your room under your bed
Lives a mean red fox
Who feet first clings
To the mattress springs
And lives on dirty sox.
He likes to eat fuzz balls and things
That are not put away
Coats and toys
And corduroy
And things in disarray
(Chorus)
The more he eats the bigger he grows
If he gets to big, he'll bite off your toes
And your fingers too, and even your head
If you let them dangle over the bed.
His favorite snack is little boy's slacks
Thrown on a heap on the floor
He loves to chew on discarded shoes
And feeding him makes him want more
(Chorus)
So clean your room and pick up your clothes
And starve the mean fox dead
So when you sleep, you can let your feet
Hang over the foot of the bed.
So that you can keep your right hand
So that your head will not be fed
To the fox that's colored red
Living under your bed.
79. The Boltzmann Machine Rap Around
with R.A. Marks & L.E.H. Marks
Negative Jane & Negative John
Never went out and never had fun
They both stayed at home sucking their thumbs
Negative Jane & Negative John.
Said Negative Jane to Negative John
`Down the path comes Positive Tom'
"I've come to your house to suck my thumb!"
Said Positive Tom to Negative John.
Said Positive Tom to Negative Jane
"Why didn't you eat your chicken chow mein?"
`I thought I saw little blue chunks of tomain
`Floating on top', said Negative Jane.
uh, Uh, UH!
Said Negative John to Negative Jane
`I think that your stomach is twitching again'
`I'm having such awful abdominal pains!
`My tummy is throbbing!' said Negative Jane.
So Negative John and Negative Jane
And Positive Tom went out in the rain
To visit a good doctor who could explain
The reason for pain in Negative Jane.
Said Positive Tom to Negative Jane
"Have any tapes by the Boltzmann machine
"To play in the car as we drive through the rain
"To the doctor?". `NO!' screamed Negative Jane.
The doctor examined poor negative Jane
"The source of the hurting, I have ascertained
Is not due to food or drink or tomain"
The doctor then smiled at Negative Jane.
uh, Uh, UH!
Said Negative John to Negative Jane
`We've got to come up with appropriate names'
`For our new babe'. Then Tom explained
`An appropriate name is positive Lane'
Said Positive Tom to Negative Jane
And Negative John `Let me explain'
`Together two negatives in any way'
`Must make a positive!' Thomas explained.
So Positive Tom and Negative Jane
And Negative John and Positive Lane
Popped a cork on expensive champagne
And put on a tape by the Boltzmann Machine.
uh, Uh, UH!
78. As Much as I Love You (The Farmersburg News)
If I wanted to
I could make the Farmersburg News.
If I could kick a football
As far as I love you.
It would go so long and high
It'd disappear into the sky
And circle the world `bout ninety times
That's what it would do.
If I wanted to
I could really make the Farmersburg News.
If I could run in circles
As fast as I love you.
I could stir up big typhoons
Disturb the peace with sonic booms
And from the sky suck in the moon
That's what I could do.
If I had thirst to match my love
I could drink oceans dry.
If I breathed deep to match my love
I'd inhale the sky.
If I wanted to
I could buy the Farmersburg News
If I earn the money
To match my love for you.
And I could pay the nation's dept
Buy GM and the New York Mets
And rent Utah for a summer rest
That's what I could do.
If I was big as love for you
I'd stand `bout ten miles tall.
If I had muscles to match my love
They'd look like bowling balls.
If we wanted to
We could make the Farmersburg News
If your deep love for me
Matched my love for you
We'd be on the social page
Tellin' the world that we're engaged
And plan ourselves a wedding day
And I'm so glad you do
Love me like you do
As much as I love you.
77. Murky in the Delta Mississippi Swamp Gas Blues
I got `dem swamp gas blues
From `dat muskrat stew
Got `dem swamp gas blues
From that delta ooze
I'm set free
Inside of me
I got `dem murky in the delta Mississippi swamp gas blues
You take `dem musk rat thighs
And some nice white rice
`Pinch of cat tail spice
Mix it up just right
Some red beans
From New Orleans
You got some murky in the delta Mississippi swamp gas stew.
You mix it up just right
Let it sit over night
In the morning light
It's guaranteed to set you free.
So you all come down soon
Cause you's overdue
For some musk rat stew
And some corn bread too
We'll whistle the tune
By the summer moon
Of the murky in the delta Mississippi swamp gas
Murky in the delta Mississippi swamp gas
Murky in the delta Mississippi swamp gas blues.
76. Smoke Smoke Smoke
with M.Ford, D. Kato & D. Haldeman
I begged you since the first time that we met
To please quit smoking those damn cigarettes
And now you lie in this hospital bet
Gaggin' and a chokin' and a coughin' off your head.
Today they cut out half of your right lung
Tonight they start on the other one
Poor Jane my dear, I'm `fraid that you're `bout done.
So grab a pack and have a drag of fun.
Have, have, have another cigarette.
Try to inhale deeply into your poisoned chest.
Smoke, smoke, smoke
`Cause you ain't quite dead yet
Go ahead and smoke another cigarette.
Don't expect for me to pity you
Your lying there has long been over due
It takes a strong will to quit, it's true
But it takes a lot of guts to face cancer too.
Throughout the years you've smoked those cigarettes
They made your teeth yellow and stunk up your breath
Burnt holes in your blouse and in the bed
So celebrate, go ahead.
Have, have, have another cigarette.
Try to inhale deeply into your poisoned chest.
Smoke, smoke, smoke
`Cause you ain't quite dead yet
Go ahead and smoke another cigarette.
75. The Hardships of Sammy
Sammy was a man
Oh, golly, what a man
With a smile on his lips
And a fist for a hand
With the eyeballs of an eagle
And muscles made of rocks
The nostrils of a beagle
And the brain of an ox
So let the world beware
Ol' Sammy didn't care
He was rough, tough, hard to bluff
And used to hardships.
He worked on a liner
Ported out of New Orleans
Shovelin' coal the whole day long
Kept Sammy lean and mean
The hot and fiery furnace
Kept the ship movin' on
As Sammy sang and shoveled coal
All day and all night long
Yeah, let the world beware
Ol' Sammy didn't care
He was rough, tough, hard to bluff
And used to hardships.
One balmy Sunday evening
Coming clear out of the blue
Bloody pirates boarded Sammy's ship
And massacred the crew
Only Sammy was alive
So he kept `a fightin' on
To rid his boat of pirates
So he could sail on home.
So, let the world beware
Ol' Sammy didn't care
He was rough, tough, hard to bluff
And used to hardships.
But the pirates kept on fighting
And Sam kept fighting back
Till Sammy got a brainstorm
And climbed the main mast
Where he spit and spat and cursed and cussed
His bloodthirsty foes
The pirates spit and cussed right back
From where they was below
Sammy hung right in there
Till the pirates became smart
And took their sabers from their teeth
And chopped the mast apart
Sammy in his tower
Started swaying right and left
And after falling ninety feet
He splattered on the deck
But, let them all beware
Cause Sammy didn't care
He was rough, tough, hard to bluff
And used to hard ships.
73. One Soul's Journey
Now, my body says to stop and rest awhile.
Now, my eyes look towards the final mile.
I look and see
The apple tree
I look and see the apple tree
And love of life beyond there.
I crawl, my body aching with it's gift of life.
I pray, I pray my journey's going to end tonight.
The apple tree
Looks down on me
The knowledge tree looks down on me
But Son of Man is smiling.
My body dies. I reach out my hand trembling.
His hand grasps mine. And drags my gently towards the tree,
I see the smile
More clearly now.
I see the smile more strongly now
And feel its comfort in me.
I see the light. The Son is sitting beautifully.
My spirit's might. Increases as he pulls me past the tree.
I rise to my feet
There to meet
I rise to my feet, there to meet
God.
72. In Good Time
I know that it's late
And the tater bugs
Are thick in the field
Eatin' our spuds.
I swear to you, woman
I'll kill every one
In good time.
I know that the weeds
Are chokin' the corn
And all of the beans
Are smothered with thorns
I'll hoe `em all out
Like a thunder storm
In good time.
So sit your body down
And let it suck up some of this sun.
It ain't the time for fixin' things
Or gettin' nothin' done
Sip some ice cold lemonade
And feel it's cool caress.
Close your eyes and shut your mouth
And give your jaws a rest.
I know the roof leaks.
It's leaked since spring.
But it's sunny now.
No leaks and no rain,
But I'll buy some tar
And plug everything
In good time.
I'm gonna sit here in this shade
And sing a lazy song.
Sip my ice cold lemonade
And do nothin' all day long
And plug my ears so I can't hear
You tell me what to do.
You're waggin' tongue's about as fun
As when I had the flu.
Yeah, I'll get to work.
I'll clean the barn.
I'll fix the roof
And I'll hoe your corn.
I'll kill all them bugs
And pull up the thorns
In good time.
71. Pre Marital
Key: ( )=boy; [ ]=unison; otherwise, girl
Take your time (We don't mind)
Take your time (We'll be fine)
Have some trust in me and my morality tonight.
Dearest Mom & Dad
You look so suspiciously sad
But you better get on the move
Or they will start without you
(And take your time)
Have a good time
(Take your time)
We'll stay in line
(I won't stay long)
(Cause I gotta be home by nine)
Have a happy time
I'm sure your party will be fine
And before you leave to come home
Please call to let me know
But take your time
(We'll keep in line)
Take your time
(We'll be fine)
[We know it's understood]
[That we will both be good tonight.]
[We know it's gotta look odd]
[With both of us here.]
But I hope you will trust me.
[We'll just play some games]
(And I'll leave like I came)
[Wholesome, clean and innocently.]
Here's your party hats (your liquor)
And your cigarettes
[Please lock the front door as you leave]
And let me have the house key.
(And take your time)
Have a good time
Take your time
(We'll be fine)
Have some trust in me and my morality tonight.
[We've memorized the song of differences of wrong and right]
Take your time
(We don't mind)
Take your time
(We'll stay in line
[We wouldn't dare to do anything you wouldn't do tonight.]
67. Chaw Bacee
In the morning when I get up
I rub my eyes and then I sit up
I reach for my pouch and I get some
Hwok! Put! Ding! Chaw bacee.
Chaw bacee, chaw bacee, Lord I love my chaw bacee.
When my breakfast's done been eatin'
And I'm thru with chores and feedin'
I reach for my pouch and I get me
Hwok! Put! Ding! Chaw Bacee.
Chaw bacee, chaw bacee, Lord I love my chaw bacee.
There's some who say there's nothin' worser than a juicy chew
They tried it once when they was young
And gagged until they's blue.
Though I recall when I was young that happened to me to.
Today without my chaw bacee
Don't know what I'd do.
In the sunny afternoon
My cheek sticks out like a balloon
I take an aim for my spittoon
And Hwok! Put! Ding! Chaw Bacee.
Chaw bacee, chaw bacee, Lord I love my chaw bacee.
You can smoke your cigars and your filter cigarettes
Pack your pipe and spend the day
Keepin' the dang thing lit.
Play your cards & gulp your beer & place your two buck bets.
Gimme chaw bacee
It's the best vice yet.
In the evenin' watchin' the tube
I shovel in a juicy big chew
Turn my head `twords the spittoon
And Hwok! Put! Splat! Dang!
Hwok! Put! Splat! Dang!
Hwok! Put! Ding! Chaw bacee.
Chaw bacee, chaw bacee, Lord I love my chaw bacee.
65. Arthur, the Drip
Arthur was a little drip
Who drifted all around
And watched the world from three miles up
In a fluffy cloud
Arthur's girl was Judy
A pretty little drip
Together they sailed the deep blue sky
In their fluffy ship.
One day Art's cloud darkened
And spit out lightening balls
And Art condensed and Judy cried
As he began to fall.
Art felt the wind whip by him
And forced a look around
And saw millions of fellow drops
Falling to the ground.
Arthur fell for two miles
And landed on hard dirt
It broke his nose and sprained his brain
And make his ankles hurt
Art pulled himself together
To be swept down a drain
In a flowing raging current
Of fellow drops of rain.
Art floated in the sewer
And down a drainage pipe
He bobbed and swirled and pitched and rolled
Well into the night
When the sun bought morning
Art emptied in a stream
That emptied to a river
That emptied in the sea.
Art was a drip no longer
But part of a big sea
He hated to be crowded
With no identity
He thought of pretty Judy
And the good times that they had
And knew he loved and missed that girl
It made him feel real bad.
Arthur bobbed and floated
From mid July to May
When a miracle happened to Arthur Drip
One balmy summer day.
While floating on the surface
Of the motionless sea
Art evaporated
And drifted skywardly.
Up and up and upward
Shot Arthur in the air
Away from hustle bussle
Away from crowds and cares.
He floated high and mighty
In the freedom he'd forgot
He breathed in deep and then gave thanks
For summers, warm and hot.
Art floated to a cloud
To see if Judy was there
He looked and asked and searched but cried
Cause nobody knew where
As Arthur got depressed
He heard a little voice
His head shot up, he saw his girl
So pretty, round and moist.
Arthur's lips met Judy's
And two drips became one
Their surface tension merged their minds
And their new life had begun
Now Art and Judy have love
In every type of weather
Knowing that if the storm comes back
They'll rain to earth together.
Arthur is a little drip
Who drifts all around
And watches the world from three miles up
In a fluffy cloud
64. If I Had My Druthers
I'm sorry for the bad words
The drinkin' and the lies
And now you say you're leavin'
And I understand why.
Hon, I'll try to be much better
In doin' things I do
And if you give me my druthers
I'd druther stay with you.
If you leave our home, dear
You'll take half my life
For what good is a husband
Without a lovin' wife
Dear, I'll try to quit my drinkin'
And try to start anew.
Please just give me my druthers
Cause I'd druther stay with you.
Fightin's good for only making one and one from two.
It takes a we and chops it up into a me and you
Now you gotta make your mind up what you're gonna do
And if my druthers count, I'd druther say for you.
So please forgive my actions
Take my apology
I'll make up all the bad times
Darlin' can't you see
Hon, I'll love you more than ever
And want your lovin' to
Please just give me my druthers
I'd druther stay with you
I want you to feel the love dear
That I feel for you.
63. Daddy's Puncture
Bill needs to find the scissors
To cut out baseball cards
on the Crunchy's cereal box
He emptied in the yard.
Mommy, Dan, Barnard and Blanche
Must have looked everywhere
When Daddy found them easily
Sitting in his chair.
Dad shot up like a bullet
And yelled a curdling yell.
His eyes got blurred, his flesh got flushed
He passed out, then he fell.
Mom woke Dad with her screaming
While Dan beat up Barnard
And Bill pulled out the scissors
And cut out baseball cards.
Dad was bleeding badly
And couldn't hardly moved
We helped him up and drove to Doc's
On an inner tube.
Doc gave Dad twelve stitches
And asked him how he feels
And told him to sleep back side up
Until the puncture healed.
One month and twelve fights later
Dad felt without a doubt
His wound was healed and it was time
To get his stitches out.
Dad got red as a berry
When Ol' Doc's nurse, Lucille
Took out the stitches one by one
And raved how well he'd healed.
Dad still walks kind of funny
Dan still beats up Barnard
Mommy cooks and Blanchie dries
And Bill cuts baseball cards.
The moral of the story
As you can probably guess
Is looking for sharp scissors
Is a pain in the ... neck.
61. Connie
Connie
A ray of sunshine on a cloudy day
Could never match the beauty and the ways of you.
Connie
You brighten patches never lit before
And kindle fires never aflame before you.
In the radiance of your eyes
The whole world seems to spin and fall
I would pray to live and die
With you.
Connie
I love the sounding of your precious name
And how your lovliness puts all to shame around you.
Let me touch your flowing hair
The warmness of your gentle smile
Let me feel sweet loving care
From you.
And Connie
When to me the judgement of your heart's tied
I'll dedicate my only life to you.
Connie
60. Yellow Yokes
I'm an egg man
Best that can be found.
Snowy white eggs
Chicken's make`em round.
I'm in eggs, man
Workin' not to beg.
My chicken's want you
To buy yourself an egg.
Yellow yokes
Whiter whites
Firmer form
Better bites.
Happy chicks
Squeezed and laid
The very best
So buy my eggs.
I'm an egg man
Get a little pole
Buy an egg, man
Poke a little hole.
Suck an egg man
Taste it oozing in
Buy another
Share it with a friend.
Yellow yokes
Whiter whites
Firmer form
Better bites.
Happy chicks
Squeezed and laid
The very best
So buy my eggs.
Buy an egg man
Fry away your fears
Boil it, poach it
Put it in your beer.
I'm your egg man
For all your needs in eggs
Let's get egg breath
The rest of our days.
Yellow yokes
Whiter whites
Firmer form
Better bites.
Happy chicks
Squeezed and laid
The very best
So buy my eggs.
59. Daniel Two
Nebuchadnezzer dreamed
A strange forgotten dream
And after his troubled sleep
It slipped his memory
He tried to find it in his mind it seems.
Nebuchadnezzer cried
To the smart and the wise
To tell him of his dream
And what his nightmare means
And they to tried to strain their minds it seems
When Daniel, the Jew boy,
Said he knew of the dream
And what's more, everything that it means.
`You dreamed of a statued man
With silver chest, arms and hands.
His belly and thighs were cast
In ordinary brass
With iron legs and feet of clay-iron mixed.'
`As the golden head watched
A mountain spew forth a rock.
With a mighty Godly smash
To bits the statue crashed
Of silver and gold and clay and iron and brass.'
"Oh Daniel, you Jew boy,
That is just what I dreamed.
Now tell me if you can what it all means."
`The golden head is your great kingdom.
The other parts are kingdoms to come.
Kingdoms which rule the world
The ugly beautiful world
And like them all, they will fall to my Lord.'
`The mountain is my dear Lord.
And the rock is my Lord.
And when the smashing's done
The rock will then become
A large mountain to overcome the world.'
And Daniel, the Jew boy
Looked up at Nebuchadnezz
And he knew in his heart that All were pleased.
Nebuchadnezzer dreamed
A strange forgotten dream
58. Chew Your Stew
Throw the pig's head in the stew
Might throw the feet and tail in too.
We'll sit and watch what it will do.
And later on we'll climb in too.
I don't think it will bother me
Just as long as I can be with you
Baby, you.
If everything goes right
We'll be in the stew tonight too
Me and you.
When the pig is finally dead
We will divvy up the head
And maybe we'll chew the stew.
Don't know what we're going to do.
The pig head sunk down in the stew.
There go the feet and tail down too.
I'll try to get them with the spoon.
I don't think it will take to long
Help me not to do it wrong
Ooooo, baby, you.
Get a spoon that's two feet long
We'll get a head and be alone, too
Me and you.
Get a saw from the shed
And we'll divvy up the head
Half mine, half is for you.
Throw your heart into the stew.
I'll sit and watch what it will do.
And then I'll throw my heart in too.
Us and the pig there in the stew.
I don't think I can take much more
Better get the knives and forks
Two, for me and you.
Strain you buds and try to savor
All of the stew's subtle flavor
Too, for me and you.
Come again tomorrow night
We'll cook a worm by candle light
And together chew the stew.
57. The Greasy Clown Blues
The greasy clown spat
In Fat Ann's face
Fat Ann flabbed the greasy clown
All over circus place.
But the greasy clown loved it.
He loves the way that flabbing feels.
He grinned and groaned
Went home and let it heal.
The greasy clown sat
In Bertha's den
And pushed and pulled the elephant
Until it set on him.
But the greasy clown loved it.
It had such wonderful appeal.
He grinned and smiled
Went home and let it heal.
The greasy clown smiles when it's day.
At night, he wipes the grease away.
The greasy clown chewed
A tube of paint.
He licked his lips and fell down dead
And lie there like a saint.
Cause the only good clowns
Are clowns that have no spark of life
Like the greasy clown
When grease turned out the light.
54. Wet Stone
My big thing is time machines that spurt and sway then go away in time and space to some far place where all T.B.'s are hung on trees and left to dry.
Pull the knob and feel it throb as Hector Green (my time machine) spews forth in time to days of slime where raging mobs turn into snobs and start to dry.
Time machines aren't human beings
They're cold grey things
Yet my machine
`Ol Hector Green
Is neat.
Cave man days are bright and gay with trees and things with birds that sing the same old song the whole day long and then they lay their round white eggs and suck it dry.
Think I'll go to Mexico, see Aztec kings and Aztec queens watch as their gold is outright sold by conquer queers who make queen tears as kink tears dry.
Time machines aren't human beings
They're cold grey things
Yet my machine
`Ol Hector Green
Is neat.
Pull the string, I'm off to Spain where matadors dressed in tight drawers stab bulls in heads until they're dead, cut off their ears so they can't hear their bull blood dry.
Time machines are my big thing. I deeply feel that their appeal is based on fact and further that without them we would be as fleas - bone desert dry.
Time machines aren't human beings
They're cold grey things
Yet my machine
`Ol Hector Green
Is neat.
53. Log in Eye
Dear Brother John
The night crawls on
My body's weak though my mind's strong.
My mind asks why
Although I've tried
The Good Lord has damned me to die.
I gave my life
To learn His love
And spread His good Word
Blessed by heaven above.
Why must I die?
Lord know's I've tried
I search my mind and can't see why.
John, can't you see
His love for me
Has never been and will never be.
With Job's sure patience
I studied late
Saved souls by thousands
From Satan's fiery gate.
Near grows the time
Dear John, good-bye
I feel the dead end drain of life.
The night grows old
My blood runs cold
Herein, body, mind and soul
... and soul ... and soul
51. Albert & the Ice Cream Truck
Albert scratched his forearm
Listening for the chimes
Whistling Dixie Doodle Dandy
Clutching at his dime
Sweat dripped from his forehead
Flowing down his locks
`Oer his steaming body, downward
Soaking his damp socks.
Wishing there had been ample time
To ask Mommy for the dime.
Steaming inside
Broiling alive
Listening for chimes
Squeezing his dime.
Albert strained his eardrums
He heard a ding-a-ling
A smile spread over his features
As he listened to it sing.
Wet fingers hotly sweating
Squeezed his security
The price of small refreshment
To cure hot humidity.
Mom's purse was just passively sitting there
Don't think that for a dime she would care.
Squeezing his dime
Hearing the chimes
Steaming inside
Broiling alive.
Albert saw it coming
Albert squeezed his dime
Which slipped through sweating fingers, rolling
Before the chimes.
Bending to pick the coin up
The truck ran `oer his head
Scattering Albert's grey stuff all over
Making Albert dead.
Wishing that there had been ample time
To ask Mommy for the dime.
Poor Albert died
Clutching his dime
As the bright chimes
Distantly died.
50. Free
Hey I threw mine away
Say I threw mine away
Hey I threw mine away
Grabbed a mental knife
Slashed periodic life
Hey I threw mine away
Dedicate my being
To unreal anarchy
Spending my life
Tryin'' to blow minds
Sewing freedom seeds
Sowing freedom seeds
Grey and like a time clock
Opening flip top cans
Always grinning grayly
With their bird in hand
Hey I threw mine away
Say I threw mine away
Hey I threw mine away
Laugh as the oppressed things
Scurry neath my being
Going bored `till they say
`t hell with all of the ends
Do it for grins
Just live for today
I threw mine away
Is it any wonder
That your face is red
Is it any wonder
That your heart is bled
Hey I threw mine away
Say I threw mine away
Hey I threw mine away
48. Mother's Hot Yeast
`Hell' cried his mother as she watched her cookie crumble
Crushed `twixt his finger bones with his eyes all humble
Don't you know that I don't know
That you do not know why
His brother belched, fell off his chair
And didn't even cry.
TV eyes and TV minds searching through the ruins
Watching rats bite off their tales and so passively chew `em
They don't know that we now know
That they swallowed the fly
Once dabbed in salt the tails did rot
And didn't even try.
Elbow minds of twisted monks limping through the oceans
Trying hard to save the fish and their sucker lotion
Beat their brains and brain their band
With their elbow minds
And let them lie out in the sun
And maybe try to try
To try to try.
47. Throw Down Your Rose
Crawling out your Uncle's alley
I eat your flowing flowered robe
The warmness of your pet Italian
And his pet's pet plastic crow
With that I'll younger you
Until you do
Uncle too
To do you
Throw down your rose.
As the long light night lingers
The bright white starts to glow
You scratch your scabby scratching fingers
Knowing Uncle only knows
With that I'll dip your ear
In flat warm beer
Uncle's queer
Queer beer ear
Throw down your rose.
As your purple pregnant passions
Cheerfully chew up your soul
Midget minds will waken Uncle
And he'll never sleep no more
With that I'll bite your back
Around your fat
Until it's black
Fat black back
Throw down your rose.
Crawling back to Uncle's alley
Feelin' my meatball muscles grow
Nicely nourished by emotion
And your flowing flowered robe
With that I'll pinch your head
Watch it get red
See it dead
Dead red head
Throw down your rose.
46. Baby Doll
In my crass crude rat filled life
Lives a pretty girl
In my mind she's much alive
Lighting my dark world.
Though she may be in my mind
She's my love and she's my life
My Baby Doll
I don't think I could at all
Ever live without you
Don't know what I'd do without you.
Though some say you're not healthy
For my busy mind
Without you and your sweet love,
What would mean my life?
So, don't you dare feel blue
I will never leave you
My Baby Doll
I don't think I could at all
Ever live without you
Don't know what I'd do without you.
Time goes on and I'll grow old
And leave this rat race
You'll stay young as that great day
My eyes closed and saw your face
What else could I need
Except your love and care for me
My Baby Doll
I don't think I could at all
Ever live without you
Don't know what I'd do without you.
45. Red Eyes
Deadened life will frozen fast
By the dull grey wizard
As in life, they fell down white
Dead against the blizzard.
Red eyes, dancing
Longing for summer
Slowly dieing
Closed in eternal slumber
No where to go.
Lying dead in the snow.
No where to go.
God only knows.
Frozen fast, minds decay
As the drifts grow higher
Never ceasing, just increasing
Wizards don't inspire.
Red eyes, yawning
Freezing for summer
Slowly dieing
Closed in eternal slumber.
No where to go.
Lying dead in the snow.
No where to go.
God only knows.
Minds may rot but thoughts live on
Etched in minds of wizards
Who spew up their fowl remains
Forming blazing blizzards.
Red eyes, dancing
Longing for summer
Slowly dieing
Closed in eternal slumber
No where to go.
Lying dead in the snow.
No where to go.
God only knows.
44. Goober Too
Oh Goober, I tried to
But no one's there
They saw me, and feared me
And all fled in despair
I yelled and heard them hiding there
But they don't care.
I watched them and told them
About the iron bed
That fell from my penthouse
And hit your head
They'd rather sit and rot
And see you dead.
I pleaded with Engelman
To please help me
He told me he couldn't walk
He'd threw his knee
It seemed so strange he never
Did look at me.
I pleaded that I'd need
To help, just one
They got up, some walked out
The rest did run
They said they's late
For swimming lessons.
Oh Goober, I tried to
But no one's there
They told me without words
They didn't care
I guess you'll just have to lie there and bleed
And pull your hair.
It's getting so darn late
I really gotta go
If you die, the garbage guy
Will pick up all your bones
But if you live
Won't you please let me know.
43. Ork, Wubber Ducky, Oink Oink & the Grommits
All of the Grommits gathered
Down at Wubber Ducky's pier
They threw an enormous party
With lots of grape vodka and beer.
Sittin' round and scratchin'
And sippin' Ork's grape bottled tears.
When down came Wubber Ducky
And his brother Oink Oink Dick.
And started gronking grommits
With Brother Oink Oink's phallic stick.
When a Grommit grunted
Oink Oink kissed him with a brick.
Wubber Ducky and Oink Oink
Smiled and looked around.
And split a dog log `twixt them
That they found on the ground.
Then they licked their chops and belched twice
And left the pier without a sound.
All of the Grommits lay groaning
In their pools of wubber blood
When the voice of Ork
Came through the bubbles in the mud.
He said `Don't feel to bad you Grommits'
`Here's some nice grape potato spuds'.
Now all the Grommits are happy
Down at Wubber Ducky's pier.
They eat all Ork's grape byproducts
To kill all of their inward fears
And if the Wubber brothers come back
They won't know or care that they're near.
42. Wondering Why
Looking through the barred window
I watch the wind blow
Over the prison walls
Majestically tall
And here the wind call
Soon you'll be dead and rotting.
Too soon, the morning will come.
Lord, it's my last one.
I watch the sky
Blackened by night
Wondering why
Lord, I don't want to die.
Dreading when I conceded
They said I'd need it.
They said my mind
Would reach the sky
Take me so high
That I would be in heaven.
Caring not for tomorrow
I stole and borrowed
All that I could
So that I could
Buy what I could.
Craving built inside me
Helping to blind me.
Blind me to steal
Blind me to kill
For two dollar bills
Blind me to die this sunrise.
Too soon, the morning will come.
Lord, it's my last one.
I watch the sky
Blackened by night
Wondering why
Lord, I don't want to die.
41. The Time of the Evening
It's the time of the evening to say that I love you
It's the time to say you love me too
Oh yeah!
It's the time of the evening to say that I love you
More than you do.
It's the time of the evening to turn on the TV
And sit close together on the couch
Oh yeah!
And turn down the lights so I'll kiss you
Right on the mouth.
Don't say our love isn't a play thing
My love for you is true
Oh yeah!
I'd marry you, dear, tomorrow
But I got school.
It's the time of the evening to do some necking
To get each other hot and red
Oh yeah!
But it's getting late, I gotta go home
And go to bed.
35. By the Fireplace (I Sit & Watch Your Body Rot)
As the crimson sun sets slowly in the west
Bringing to the end this special day
When all the woes and troubles in my life
Right before my eyes, just went away
And by the bright burning fireplace
I sit still and watch your face
And think my effervescent thoughts.
There by the fireplace I sit & watch your body rot.
Your big glassy eyes stare through the flashing fire
Into the depths of eternity
Past the humdrum days of your worthless dulldrum life
And your impositions on me.
And by the bright burning fireplace
I sit still and watch your face
And think my effervescent thoughts.
There by the fireplace I sit & watch your body rot.
The long leaping flames from the flashing crackling fire
Reflect off the pearl handled knife
Parked so deep inside the now motionless chest
Of you, my dear and loving wife.
And by the bright burning fireplace
I sit still and watch your face
And think my effervescent thoughts.
There by the fireplace I sit & watch your body rot.
I sit and watch your body rot.
34. Heartburn
I let the hotdog slip onto the floor
And watched it gayly bouncing out the door
And heard it yell `Baby, please don't get sore,
`But I ain't comin' back on more.'
And then the lemons started rolling `round
They said something `bout being homeward bound
And with their dispositions bright and gay
They packed their bags and rolled away.
And then the kitchen seemed to come alive.
The whole house started rockin' from side to side
Everything from the peanuts to the steaks
Put on their coats and went away.
Sometimes I sit and wonder `bout that day
When all my food just up and went away
I miss them more that I could ever say
I wish I'd tried to make them stay
When they just up and went away
I miss them more that I could say.
33. Cause You're Weird
Isolation sickness drips from saddened eyes
Burning flesh like acid, draining insides dry
Hoping that the `morrow brings a sweeter day
Hoping that their tongues will rot when they smile and say
You're so weird.
Switch around the eyeballs, looking deep inside
Searching hard and straining to see what they find
Maybe it's what's happening deep inside the brain
Maybe to them they are right when they smile and say
You're so weird.
Telling acid tongue boys to go and lick some sand
Maybe weird is standard in some other land
Packing brains and insides in a velvet case
Travlin' there and through new eyes turn to them and say
You're so weird.
32. Uncle Freddy
Hey Uncle Freddy
When you gonna die?
I've been waiting for thirty two years
Just to see you die.
You didn't know that
No one cares for you
All that we want is your money
And your property too
Hey Uncle Freddy
When you gonna die
No one's understanding
Why you're still alive.
31. I Was Once Loved
I was once loved
I was once held
I was once cared for
By my life's dream
Now I walk the lonely road of sorrow
Seeking the end of day's dull dream.
I was once loved
I was once held
I lived life only
To love and serve her
Now I live life only for tomorrow
Burdened by a hollow loneliness.
I was once loved
I was once held
I was once given
Life's golden years
Now I life a life without purpose
Hoping to find what I have lost.
I was once loved.
30. Back Alley Blues
How I long for the witch's hour
When all goodness begins to sour
When hate rules the darkened land
With a firm black leather hand
`a moanin' back alley blues.
How I long for the moonless night
With the cold air's piercing bite
Hear a scream rip through the streets
Shattering uneasy peace
`a cryin' back alley blues.
How I long for those blackened days
When a body lived for hate
When the pack rats roamed the street
Searching for their night's feast
`a screamin' back alley blues.
27. Bitter Lemon
Have you seen the yellow hunchbacks sit
And try to tint their shades
And discuss discord politics
And suck on rotten eggs.
Have you seen their flowing fire
With flames of thickened red
They pat their children on the back
And stab them in the head
Have you smelled their foul; offensive breath
That waters all the eyes
Of everyone who stands around
And all who may pass by
Have you heard their inane mumblings
Which promise soon someday
They'll pull the knives out of their kids
And let them run and play.
Have you seen their tired bloodshot eyes
From which flow plastic tears
They say they're sorry for their kids
And have another beer
Then they call another loved one
And stab them in the head
And yellow plastic hunchback tears
Flow `cause their kid is dead.
Have you seen the yellow hunchbacks sit
And plasticize ideas
And with eyes closed say what is not
And then mumble what is
Soon they'll eat their cold ambrosia
And then they's start to die
Cause somehow yellow poison toadstools
Got in the mushroom pie.
26. Die Hard Blues
I've seen you cry
I've heard you lie
I've helped you try
I'll see you die.
As you grow old
I've watched the mold
Over you grow
And watched you grow cold.
I've climbed your mountains
I've crossed your prairies
I've lived your lies
I'll see you die.
I've seen your tears
Over the years
Grow with your fears
And dull your veneer.
And soon someday
You'll go away
Stone dead you'll lay
And slowly decay.
And soon my sorrows
For my tomorrows
With you will lie
When I see you die.
24. Impressions of a Disillusioned Suitor
You've impressed me as somebody with the goal in life
To extricate your debts with cash to subsidize your plight.
Though you're sloth and improvident, you don a good mask
To cover that you're looking for some man to ease life's tasks.
You have the soul of stagnate muddy water.
You don't want love, just ample fortunes to spend.
Doff your mask of selfishness and analyze you mind
For if you choose to rearrange it I just may change mine
Change your low ways and live life without wanting
Don't use your love for thieving and for deceit.
Elevate your lowly soul and peer into your mind
You may become inebriated by that which you find.
23. On My Turpentine Farm
Money grows on bushes
Mincemeat grows on trees
One can milk a chicken
While stinging a bee
Everyone's so pleasant
Even toads got charm
And all ice cream has bones
On my turpentine farm.
Everyone's so happy
Everyone's so pleased
With their lives of loving
With their life of ease.
Plastic hay is stored up
In a rubber barn
In a sugar cube field
On my turpentine farm.
Streams are filled with honey
Life is filled with glee
Hate is nonexistent
Life's tranquility.
Wasps pull out their stingers
Cows give milk in jars
Everything's so peaceful
On my turpentine farm
Watermelon apples
Grow on turnip trees
Water tastes like root beer
Root beer tastes like tea
Everyone is friendly
No one wishes harm
On their fellow beings
On my turpentine farm
19. You Ain't Gonna Die (You're Gonna Ugly Away)
You got the disposition of a sewer rat.
You make love like a crippled vampire bat.
You smell something like a mildewed bathroom mat.
When you laugh, ripples flow down your fat.
You ain't gonna die, you ain't gonna die.
You ain't gonna die, you're gonna ugly away.
Every time you move, for you it's a major chore.
You got to turn sideways to go through a door.
You're conversation's filled with assorted snorts.
You got the complexion of an infected wart.
You ain't gonna die, you ain't gonna die.
You ain't gonna die, you're gonna ugly away.
Ug, ug, ugly away.
You're gonna ug, ug, ugly away.
You're gonna ug, ug, ugly away.
You're gonna ug, ug, ugly away.
You ain't gonna die, you ain't gonna die.
You ain't gonna die, you're gonna ugly away.
So take your acid breath and your hairy arms
And get yourself a ride to the nearest freak farm.
And get yourself a job cleaning out the barn.
And maybe some cow will dig all of your charms.
You ain't gonna die, you ain't gonna die.
You ain't gonna die, you're gonna ugly away.
17. Trying Not to Get Upset
Standing naked on a bread crumb, crying salty tears.
Biting nails and cracking knuckles, to relieve the fear.
Trying not to get upset, trying not to cry.
Hoping for some miracle, so you'll never die.
Eating buttered peas and onions, on an old ant hill.
Crushing ants and smashing spiders, on a window sill.
Trying hard to break up all the monotony.
Trying to grow apple pie on a mince meat tree.
Peeling `taters in the bathtub, on a Tuesday morn.
Thinkin' that you started dieing, as soon as you'se born.
Got to get it off your mind: eat a rubber band.
Build a chocolate air hole factory for the doughnut man.
Stacking BB's on a marble Wednesday afternoon,
Softly screaming at the sun and swearing at the moon.
Searchin' for the rainbow's end, for that pot of gold.
Planting gardens full of fruit, and harvesting mold.
Whistling Dixie through your navel, drinking turpentine.
Eating pork and radish pudding, just to pass the time.
Trying not to get upset, tryin' to not think why
In less than a century, you'll just up and die.
16. Sweet Death
Slowly I fade into the night.
Hoping to find some revenge on life.
To die the death of an honorable man.
And complete life's awful plan.
And complete life's awful plan.
So deeply dark, the water's foam.
Beckoning me so loudly to come.
And join the ranks of eternity.
And of this life be free.
And of this life be free.
Quickly I jump, to avoid thoughts.
To overcome the troubles I've wrought.
The night's cold air streaks past my face.
Death hasn't long to wait.
Death hasn't long to wait.
Cold black water fills my lungs.
My solemn song, I've finally sung.
It's dark as hell and cold as night.
And sweet death's now in sight.
And sweet death's now in sight.
12. Opus Twelve
If you think your presence will change me
To the person you want me to be
If you think your wants will appeased
By praising and criticizing me
Then look around at what I am
I'm to set in my ways
Please don't try to change me
With your love.
If you want the earth and boundless sea
Brought to you and laid down at your feet
If you want to own all that you see
Brought to you by merely loving me
Then drop your dreams of selfishness
Your dreams with me will die.
So please don't try to change me
With your love.
If you think that loving me will bring
You a life of pure tranquility
If you think your wants will be appeased
By praising and criticizing me.
Then turn your head and walk away
Your dreams with me will die.
For you could never change me
With your love.
10. My Happy Family
Daddy, Mom & my sister
Live in a house with me
It overlooks a cow pasture
With dead crab apple trees.
Daddy washes dishes
Down at Friendly Freddy's Bar
He sweeps the floor and Drinks
And puts dry pretzels in a jar.
Mommy fix's TV's
And on Tuesday afternoons
She butchers cows with Daddy
As they whistle merry tunes.
Sissy collects boy friends
`Cause she hates to be alone.
I never see her much
She doesn't even sleep at home.
Friday is my favorite
`Cause we all get in the car
And go downtown & roll the drunks
At Friendly Freddy's Bar.
Then we all sit down
And wash away the laughter tears
And talk about the beat up drunks
And drink Freddy's warm beer.
But I get sick on beer
No matter if it's warm or cold.
So Mommy says I cay drink whiskey
When I'm twelve years old.
Mommy, Dad and my sister
Live in a house with me.
We're such a lovely beautiful
And happy family.
9. Lost
My mind has over lived my years.
My hate has overcome my fears.
I look around and what I see
Seems only to be seen by me.
My green grass turns grey overnight.
I loose my wars before my fight.
I try to struggle off the ground
But I just keep on falling down.
My life seems predestined by fate.
My loves are molded into hate.
I strain to look, but cannot see
The good in what I'm told to be.
My dreams are crushed by reality.
My faith is deadened by what I see.
My goal to someday reach the sky
Is marred by this mist `round my eyes.
My wants are nullified by no's.
My suns are all smothered with snow.
The thoughts I hear and sights I see
Have lost me to reality.
2. Dear Sergeant
Dear Sergeant be patient with me
I'm new in the army you see
Please teach me the skill
On how one does kill
The things that are our enemies
The bayonet for one puzzles me
I am not so sure that I see
Just what it does do
Or how it is used
Please explain all the rules to me
If I stab him time and again
And he's still alive, what then?
Should I just jab him
Or once again stab him
Or just gouge him time and again?
The flame thrower interests me
But how should you burn enemies?
Medium rare,
Or `till their skin's bare
Of flesh and of normality.
About the gun I have with me
Where do I shoot the enemy?
Below the thighs
Or right in the eyes?
Please explain all the rules to me.
[ Home ]